Saturday, November 22, 2008

November 22nd - Reasons to be Grateful

The Silver Lining to the Burning Question You Burnt the Bird?
A Dozen Reasons to Be Thankful!

  • Salmonella won't be a concern

  • No one will overeat.

  • Everyone will think it's Cajun Blackened.

  • Uninvited guests will think twice next year.

  • Your cheese broccoli lima bean casserole will gain newly found appreciation.

  • Pets won't pester you for scraps.

  • The smoke alarm was due for a test.

  • Carving the bird will provide a good cardiovascular workout.

  • After dinner, the guys can take the bird to the yard and play football.

  • The less turkey Uncle George eats, the less likely he will be to walk around with his pants unbuttoned.

  • You'll get to the desserts quicker.

  • You won't have to face three weeks of turkey sandwiches.

Need some jokes to beat your kids at? (I know I'm tired of hearing what's a ghost's favorite dessert? Booberry Pie! Ha. Ha. Except half the time he forgets and says Raspberry Pie!)
  • Turkey Riddles

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    What did the mother turkey say to
    her disobedient children?

    If your father could see you now,
    he'd turn over in his gravy!

Why do Pilgrims have trouble keeping their pants up?

'Cause they wear their belts on their hats!

What is the difference between a chicken and a turkey?

Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving!!

What is the Turkey's favorite black tie celebration?

The Butter Ball

How does a Turkey drink her juice?

In a gobble-let

How many turkeys does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one but it takes 5 hours

Did you hear about the X-rated turkey?

It's served with very little dressing.

What do you get when you cross a turkey, the beach, and Broomhilda?

A turkey sand-witch

What kind of music did Pilgrims listen to?

Plymouth Rock!

Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?

The outside!

Why do turkeys eat so little?

Because they are always stuffed!

What did the turkey do in the Thanksgiving Day Parade?

He played his drumsticks!

Don't try this at home!!

The Turkey Popped Out of the Oven

The Turkey popped out of the oven
and rocketed in to the air;
It knocked every plate off the table
and partly demolished a chair.
It ricocheted into a corner
and burst with a deafening boom,
Then splattered all over the kitchen,
completely obscuring the room.
It stuck to the walls and the windows,
it totally coated the floor,
There was turkey attached to the ceiling,
where there had never been turkey before..
It blanketed every appliance,
it smeared every saucer and bowl;
There wasn't a way I could stop it;
that turkey was out of control.
I scraped and I scraped with displeasure
and thought with chagrin as I mopped,
That I would never again stuff a turkey
with popcorn that hadn't been popped.